10 Things Covert Narcissists Say In An Argument
A narcissist believes that they are superior, more unique, and more desirable than others. They are more likely to be diagnosed with severe mental illness, a temperament disorder characterized by extravagant thoughts, an inflated sense of importance, feelings of alienation, and a craving to be praised by everyone. These egocentric characteristics usually mask deep-seated worries and fears.
There is no definitive list of statements used by narcissists. However, there are also several frequent ones to watch out for, such as “My ex-partners are all insane” and “You’re too emotional,” and also a variety of deception strategies.
Here are the 10 things that covert narcissists say in an argument.
Narcissists will appear pleasant at first, and then they will almost certainly trap you in a pattern of narcissistic seduction that drives you to doubt yourself over time. To persuade you to pursue a connection, they employ subtle narcissistic strategies like emotional blackmail and psychological abuse. They generally say a bunch of egotistical remarks as a result of this.
Deception is a skill that covert narcissists excel at. They will speak any language to acquire whatever they desire from you without thinking about how it may affect you. They’ll use techniques like emotional blackmail and exaggeration, including misrepresenting facts, to help you be happy. Maybe you’re the person who is incorrect in an altercation.
You’re so envious and self-conscious.
They say this just because your disagreement makes them feel intimidated. They wouldn’t want to know your views since it makes them think about the aspects of themselves they wouldn’t want to think about. To escape having to take ownership of their sentiments and experiences, they make it about anything wrong with you.
So if you feel guilty for deliberately trying to handle it, you’ll become sidetracked from the original problem and taken aback by most of the new information you’re asked to provide. And say it to someone who isn’t interested in learning about you as well as is intent on deliberately misrepresenting you in an attempt to outperform and win arguments.
My ex-girlfriends are all insane.
They claim this to make you sound special by not labeling you as insane, but it’s just a ruse to get you to believe that they’ve always been mistreated but you’ll be special. Some could feel that it’s because we like being noticed. We won’t be labeled insane afterward.
They mention this to retain you on board as a narcissist customer. It’s pointless, tedious, dull, and expected to engage with someone who uses such approaches. However, someone unfamiliar with that might think, “And even if only I had expressed myself properly,” or “But then if only I had represented my point more clearly,” or “But then if somehow they could grasp where I’m going from.”
Gamesmanship is quite well among narcissists even though they aid to strengthen their control over former top victims. To maintain their ex within control, they’ll use emotional blackmail, consciousness degradation, and psychological manipulation.
They are influencing your thoughts by discounting you and claiming that your feelings are unimportant. They really would like to say anything that they want without fear of repercussions, so if you respond, they’ll dismiss your emotion as an exaggeration and dismiss your situation as a form of narcissist assault.
Unless he or she can’t stay with either bad emotion for more than a short time, the narcissist usually reacts badly. Alternatively, they concentrate their feelings on a specific person by pushing their feelings out. As a result, that’s on the passive recipients of another one of their rants make you feel uneasy and unhappy. Gaslighting or master manipulating are also used by megalomaniacs to weaken and destabilize their victims; ultimately, they use happiness and feelings of resentment or experiences to deceive others.
Above all, I like you.
They use emotional blackmail to persuade you after quite a tumultuous time. They may be hoping that your tender side would take control or you will ignore your negative feelings. This has been said to trap you trapped in a spiral of narcissistic abuse. This may also be something narcissists state in the expectation that you will return to someone when you have already left.
For a narcissist, compassion is merely a necessary evil. The passion object of a narcissist is dehumanized, neither can be independent nor cultivate their consciousness while under the grip of the narcissist. Enslavement towards the narcissist’s will would be the penalty for someone in the connection.
You get a problem with trust.
They claim that since they wouldn’t want to acknowledge how you feel about things, how their behaviors may have related to your uneasiness. This is a method of deceiving you, breaking you down, getting you reliant on them, while supposed to make you feel isolated.
This is how it functions in layman’s terms: In personal interactions, the narcissist somehow doesn’t fully trust people. Since he (or she, depending on the situation) does not respect others, he (or she, depending on the situation) tries to put themselves in a difficult state. They shouldn’t get their thing, although their demands are irrational. They believe they have been chastised, even though the criticism is reasonable and delivered with kindness.
It’s time for you to smarten up.
They claim this since they believe that displaying sympathy is a sign of weakness and that you’ll be prepared to adapt to whatever they say. When narcissistic caregivers don’t provide their children with the love and attention they require, they say things like this.
When someone knows for sure something transpired or is spoken, covert narcissists would deny its existence or has been said. It’s a method for any of them to manipulate your perception of things and keep you nervous so that they can then continue abusing you without first being caught.
The most difficult form of narcissism to spot is the delusional schizophrenic. They’re shy, modest, and unpretentious. But face the facts about it: they’re just as egocentric as the rest of us.
You forced me to do it, so it’s not my responsibility.
This is a strategy for a companion or parents to avoid taking true control of a problem or consequence. They actually mean is they can’t take responsibility for anyone and will hold you accountable for anything terrible while trying to take credit for anything wonderful.
The personalities of narcissists are exceedingly fragile, and their identities are unstable. They interpret it as embarrassment, about you being unjust, even nasty to someone if you genuinely started standing up by yourself and wouldn’t play their tricks. You are irrational in your perspective even though you do not recognize that they are smarter, correct, and all amazing people. It offends them greatly, and they suffer in silence and also unfairly.
We’re a great pairing.
This is a manner of love bombing and gaslighting you into believing that it is fine, even though it isn’t. They could be attempting to elicit a reciprocal response from you. Furthermore, if they aren’t always pleasant, mentioning this is a good way of keeping you on that leash.
Narcissists & associated facilitators enjoy advising others on how to toughen themselves. In opposition to the “slender” victim, portraying worldly realism enables them to feel important and show worry while concealing their overreaction and harassment. To add spice to sorrow, abusers will portray the scapegoat’s emotional blackmail approach as “about your benefit.”
You’re far too sensitive for your own good.
Both narcissistic caregivers and spouses can cause this. They say this just because they wouldn’t want to admit that their comments have caused you harm, so they blame you. It’s a ruse to control you but also your emotions, leading you to believe you’re sensitive.
Taking the side of the moderate candidate permits that narcissist to portray the victim as unreasonable, overdramatic, and maybe hysterical. This is a common male attitude toward women, which is reinforced by entrenched personal prejudice. Narcissistic transference is when someone tells you that you are oversensitive when you overreact to being demeaned, criticized, or harassed.
How to Treat Covert Narcissists
Limiting or ending communication with the woman or individuals assaulting you is the best way to minimize being harassed and verbally insulted as oversensitive. However, if you seem unable to exit an abusive family, some ways can help you get back on your feet.
Stop apologizing for yourself.
Your aims to explain themselves land on deaf teeth since the psychopathic narcissist lives on hurting and denigrating others. The psychopath is concerned about your motivations, sentiments, or justifications.
Don’t Expose Yourself to Risk.
Intimacy is viewed by narcissists as a source of inferiority and a chance to manipulate or assault. You would be better protected if you ceased revealing your thoughts and beliefs.
Refusing to rise to the bait
It’s tough not to respond, especially when you’ve been constantly pursued for a long time, but keeping your temper in check because you’re being attacked or humiliated is the most effective means of disarming the narcissist and his or her supporters. They are doing it for a sensation, and if we don’t provide that public response, they’ll look for something else to do.
Concentrate on You
When you’ve been subjected to protracted abuse, you’re probably dealing with terrible self-image, muddled relationships, and other complicated trauma indicators. Receive assistance and opportunities to learn more about psychology or the pain that extremely disturbing causes. People who truly care about you and just want the best for you will not discount your concerns.
You’re a deplorable individual.
They are imagining this when they state this. You presumably challenged them about almost anything horrible they did. They accuse you of something rather than assuming responsibility.
If you’re engaged, there’s a valid reason for it. The most prevalent kind of emotional blackmail used by narcissistic offenders and their accomplices is telling others that they are overreacting while they’re being mistreated.
Often, a person who is being used as a culprit is described as excessively sensitive, which is used to denigrate them and ignore their sentiments. Abusers escape responsibility by rephrasing their violence in this fashion, undermining the castigated human’s grasp of perspective, causing individuals to mistrust themselves and fear reporting the abuse.
What To Speak To A Covert Narcissist If You’re Trying To Get Them To Stop?
When you’re interacting with a narcissist, you deal with those that have personality flaws, most of which have their roots in childhood. They had no bounds and thus had no concept of what constitutes property. They would go to any length to obtain what they desire because they think they’re entitled to it.
When challenged by their flaws, covert narcissists have quite a propensity to become too aggressive and hypersensitive. They may lash out angrily, or they may recede and regard you with silence. The best method to deal with someone like this is to avoid anything further rational conversation with someone.
When you’re interacting with either a narcissist, you’re working with those who have personality flaws, most of which have their roots in infancy. They had no bounds and thus have no concept of what constitutes value. They would frequently go to any degree to maintain control over or win a debate.
Remove any emotions from the discussion.
You must speak with a narcissist about the problem without displaying any enthusiasm in your speech or mannerisms. You should also not express emotions if you just want to try toying with them rather than then completely shut them off. Keep your cool and breathe through it. Keep your distance from them. Afterward, you can scream and go for a stroll to let out the anger.
Take the idea Contra Intuitive.
A narcissist would be difficult to reason persuaded. They’ll go to any length to prove their point, and that they want people to concur with them. Its goal is to keep you under control and make you believe you’re to blame.
Ordinary, well-intentioned people are treating others with inquiry, compassion, and trustworthiness in socialization, conversation, or dispute. Interaction, on the other hand, is viewed as a lose-lose situation by a narcissist. Individuals try to control, intimidate, lie, belittle, humiliate and injure people to win.