7 Ways To Spot Your Shadow Self

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7 Ways To Spot Your Shadow Self

7 Ways To Spot Your Shadow Self

If you look up the word shadow in the dictionary, you’ll see that it has multiple definitions. It can be an object, like an ever-present cloud covering the sun to create darkness, or it can be defined as a psychological concept of an unconscious aspect of the personality with qualities opposite to those of the conscious personality.

The latter definition gets at the essence of what shadow work entails; it’s about exploring that aspect of your personality that you don’t fully understand and may even wish to change.

1) Jealousy

Jealousy is one of the most common emotions we experience. It’s that feeling of envy or insecurity that we feel when someone has something that we want.

Jealousy is normal, but it can also be destructive. If you’re not careful, jealousy can lead to resentment, bitterness, and even hatred.

So how do you know if your shadow self is controlling you?

Here are seven signs to watch out for:

  • 1. You find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others.
  • 2. You feel like you’re not good enough.
  • 3. You feel threatened by other people’s success.
  • 4. You need to put others down to feel better about yourself.
  • 5. You think you’re entitled to things because of what you’ve done in the past.
  • 6. You resent anyone who achieves anything that surpasses your achievements.
  • 7. You compare your spouse/partner with their exes and then begin to wonder what they see in them over you

2) Deceitfulness

We all have a shadow self, that part of us that we try to keep hidden.

This side of ourselves can be deceitful, manipulative, and even cruel. But it’s also an essential part of who we are.

Here are seven ways to spot your shadow self:

  • 1. You’re always trying to impress others. 
  • 2. You’re always trying to be the center of attention. 
  • 3. You’re always trying to one-up others. 
  • 4. You’re always trying to be the best at everything you do. 
  • 5. You’re always putting others down to make yourself feel better. 
  • 6. You’re always trying to control everything and everyone around you.
  • 7. You’re constantly manipulating others into doing what you want them to or saying what you want them to say.

3) Manipulation

We all have a dark side, that part of us that we try to keep hidden. It’s the side that’s manipulative, jealous, and self-destructive.

While it’s normal to have some darkness within us, it can be a problem if it starts to take over.

You always find yourself doing things that you know are wrong. You’re constantly second-guessing yourself about what you’re feeling or thinking.

You worry about how others think of you but don’t care what they think about themselves.

When someone is upset with you, you’ll do anything to make them feel better without considering how it makes them feel for being so fake.

You’re always looking for attention from others but never seem satisfied with anything anyone does for you.

There are parts of your life where everything feels like a performance, and no one cares who you are on the inside or outside.

4) Anger

We all have anger inside of us. It’s a normal human emotion. But when we stuff down our anger and don’t deal with it healthily, it can turn into resentment.

Resentment is like cancer that eats away at us from the inside, making us feel bitter, angry, and alone.

If you feel this way, it’s essential to take a step back and examine your life to see if there might be some unresolved anger causing this.

5) Accusations

We all have a shadow self, that part of us that we try to keep hidden. It’s the side of us that is jealous, angry, and resentful.

The shadow self can rear its ugly head when we least expect it, often causing us to act in ways we later regret.

If you think you’re becoming too hard on yourself or others, it might be time to shine some light on your shadow self.

Here are things you might notice if you’re being too hard on yourself; A sudden loss of interest in activities or people who once seemed important.

Harsh words directed at yourself or others Withdrawing from others who care about you.

A worsening physical condition such as weight gain or sleep problems doesn’t respond to usual treatment.

Recent onset of mental health symptoms such as depression, anxiety, and more!

6) Entitlement

We all have a shadow self, that part of us that we try to keep hidden. It’s the side of us that is jealous, angry, manipulative, and hurtful.

We don’t like to think about this side of ourselves, but it’s there. Ignoring it won’t make it go away. It will only make it stronger.

The first step to dealing with your shadow self is acknowledging its existence.

Here are seven ways to spot your shadow self:

  1. 1. You feel entitled. You feel like you deserve things that you haven’t earned and that you’re entitled to special treatment.
  2. 2. You’re constantly comparing yourself to others. There’s never anyone who has what you want or does what you do as well as you do. You can’t stop looking at other people and feeling inferior.
  3. 3. You believe in conspiracy theories and negative news stories that reinforce your beliefs about how terrible the world is.
  4. 4. You’re not interested in socializing or getting to know new people because they’ll never be as good as your friends (or they might take them away from you).
  5. 5. No matter how hard someone tries to compliment or encourage you, it doesn’t seem sincere; instead, it feels like manipulation or pity–and even if they were sincere, their compliments don’t count because they’re not competent enough to offer them properly (according to your high standards).
  6. 6. When you compare yourself to others, it’s always out of frustration rather than curiosity. Instead of trying to learn from other people’s successes and failures, you resent them for doing something better than you do.
  7. 7. When someone offers constructive criticism, you get defensive and start explaining why they’re wrong instead of considering what they said.

7) Being arrogant

We all have a shadow self, that part of us that we try to keep hidden. It’s the side of us that is arrogant, rude, and judgmental. We may not like to admit it, but we all have this side of us. 

Concluding thoughts

We all have a shadow self, that part of us that we try to keep hidden. But if we can learn to recognize our shadow selves, we can start to work on integrating them into our lives.