How to Manipulate a Manipulator? 7 Signs of a Manipulative Woman and Man
Unfortunately, sociopaths and psychopaths have a knack for gathering what they call “people around them,” which often includes those with whom they’ve had casual romantic relationships.
A manipulator needs to feel needed and wanted, so having constant companionship helps validate their existence.
As you all know, there are signs of a manipulative woman and man coming your way sooner or later if you don’t take steps to avoid her. Here are seven signs that might indicate that they’re up to no good.
How does manipulation occur?
First off, there is nothing wrong with being manipulated. The main issue here is if the manipulation has turned into a pattern and been happening for a long time. How you deal with things in your life, react to situations, and interact with others can be manipulated in different ways that depend on the situation.
These ways include devious behaviors, projection, denial of the truth, and many other techniques people use to get others to do what they want them to do instead of what they want them to do. Unfortunately, manipulation can be so subtle that most people don’t even notice it until much later down the road.
Few ways manipulation can occur.
- Ways to manipulate someone can involve behaviors, feelings, thoughts, and gestures that are mostly out of the character of the person being manipulated. Nobody wants to be manipulated by another person they love and care about, but sadly, it happens too often.
- If you have had a long line of bad experiences with people in your life, like broken promises or liars, or those who have hurt you, you will react differently to different people in your life when you become more aware of this situation may happen again. It’s justified in your mind and makes sense why you act the way you do if something like this has happened before.
- Another way manipulation can occur is if a person feels uncomfortable about how a situation is acting out or being handled, that he or she will play with emotions or expressions to get the other person to react in the way they want them to, by doing certain things and saying certain things.
- Another way manipulation can occur is when someone doesn’t like something and tells the other person what they want instead of asking them for it. An example would be when someone doesn’t like part of your personality or character, and they put you down constantly until you change your ways.
7 Signs of a Manipulative Woman
A manipulative woman uses deception, psychological abuse, and manipulation to have power over you. Most often, they don’t intend to hurt you on purpose.
They are just seeking personal gain or validation in a relationship that they can control. But no matter the reason for their manipulating ways, it’s important that you recognize the signs and walk away from them as soon as possible.
1. She doesn’t listen to you
A woman who is up to no good has to keep you in the dark, so she’ll do whatever it takes to hear what you don’t want her to hear. So, for example, if she knows your views on something and is told that those views differ from hers, she may pretend to agree with you until she’s able to twist your words around.
Manipulators often insert words into other people’s mouths, then act as if the person mistook what was actually said. This comes down to the that a manipulator will never let you speak freely no matter how hard you try.
2. She’s upset when you’re happy
There may be times when you and your manipulator have a lot to talk about, but just one of you is saying anything. The other person could be trying to say something. Still, the manipulator seems to be clamming up, or she’s responding with a pout. The manipulator has taken your joy away by replacing it with much more negative emotion.
Manipulators want to make others feel bad about whatever good thing has happened in their lives and vice versa. The idea is that no one should ever feel better than a manipulator at any given time. So if you are happier than she is, something has to change (your happiness).
3. She’s not receptive to you
Your manipulator would stop trying to be so hard on you if she truly cared, wouldn’t she? When a manipulator tells you that everyone has problems or tries to make you feel sympathetic by telling you she’s just like your problems to make you like her, look for subtle changes in her behavior and attitude.
If she’s constantly bad-mouthing other people at work, try asking if something is wrong with her boss, who may actually be having a hard time dealing with the many changes in the company.
4. She Plays the Victim Role
With a manipulative woman, you’ll often find yourself in the role of hero or savior. You will be put in a position where it feels like she needs you, and your natural reaction will be to want to help her.
She will use this desire to mold you into whatever she needs at that moment, whether it’s an ally, financial contributor, or emotional rock. It might feel good to help her out at
first, but soon realize that you are being taken advantage of.
These women know how to play these roles well and keep you under their thumb as long as they need whatever service you can provide them with.
5. She Pretends to Be in Love with You
A manipulative woman always wants to feel in charge and will resort to fake affection to manipulate you. Whether it’s a false sense of attention or affection, she’ll pretend that she is in love with you and keep you on your toes.
She often pretends to be caring, but deep down, she only feels like the need for your “love” is a way for her to maintain control over you. But, of course, it’s all just pretend most of the time, so don’t buy it!
6. She Loves to Play Mind Games
With a manipulative woman, you will always feel like her victim. She’ll love to mess with your head and make you question your sanity when you’re with her. She will often be two-faced and use innuendos and vague statements to throw you off guard.
She’ll control the conversation so that she is always in control and will do whatever she can to keep the power in her hands. So the best thing you can do is not feed into it – don’t rise to the bait and don’t take any of it personally.
7. She is always Bossy
They always get their way no matter what. Others will do anything for them because they might hurt themselves or others beforehand if not granted their wishes.
They may have convinced themselves that their feelings, needs, and beliefs override everyone else’s feelings and needs.
7 Signs of a Manipulative Man
1. He’s passive-aggressive
He may not realize it, but this is a form of manipulation. He lets you know that he doesn’t like your behavior without confronting you. For example, you might say, “Been working all day, and I haven’t had a chance to finish,” and he replies, “Well why don’t you do that later?”
This can be very hurtful to people because it reduces the relationship to a simple yes or no question as opposed to giving them the time and space they need to completely express what they want or need in the relationship.
2. He is emotionally violent and manipulates you.
Many manipulative men will make you feel guilty or ashamed by telling you how they feel about you. When these feelings occur, he doesn’t always come out and tell you that he doesn’t like the way you behave; instead, he’ll form a plan to talk to or think about how he feels without your knowledge.
He’ll use words such as “I hate it when that happens!” or “You said something really rude!” This kind of manipulation is also hurtful since it leaves people feeling embarrassed, upset, or angry.
3. He manipulates you physically
Some manipulative men will try to get their way by taking control of situations at work, in relationships, and in friendships. They may do this by being rude or having a habit of interrupting other people’s arguments.
One thing that manipulative men do to try to control others is how they make the first move. When a man makes a pass or tries to start any kind of flirtation early on, he’s trying to gain power over the object of his affection.
Because he’s possibly rejected someone before, his original motive is selfishness and not just flirting.
4. He acts nice but isn’t
A manipulative man knows his partner has a weak spot, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get what he wants from them.
So if you notice that your partner changes their behavior or personality when they are arguing with you and are just trying to persuade you that they’re not as bad as they seem, they are being manipulative.
He will try to make himself look good in front of others and around others to get what he wants.
5. Sex Manipulation
Manipulative men will try to get what they want from you by taking a sexual approach. If your partner doesn’t care about your feelings or cares more about what he thinks you’ll do to agree with him, you are probably getting manipulated.
He will try to make you feel guilty for saying no and then try to use guilt to make you do what he wants.
6. He treats you in your weak spot.
If your relationship has been going downhill, and the only way for him to get what he wants from you is using his threats, then you are being manipulated. If you don’t agree with him, he will use fear or guilt as a rationale for threatening to leave.
7. He downplays you
He’s always trying to make you feel bad about yourself, especially if you are doing well in your relationship.
If he picks at you when you are striving to meet his needs like if he really needs his room back tidied up right away or if he has a question about something or asks you to research something on the internet, take notice.
He might be trying to make it seem like you are the problem and not him. This is because it is hard for him to come up with ideas or figures independently without the constant reminder that it’s your fault he feels bad.
Conclusion
It’s interesting to see how a woman can be just as manipulative and dominant as a man in this respect. However, I think we can all agree that this behavior is problematic because of the inequality of power dynamics and potential consent issues.
